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About Me

Well, let's see; I started playing when SpyreX introduced me to Epic Mafia in mid 2007 (I think). My first game on epic I was a vanilla townie and claimed scum, 'just to see what would happen.'

Since then, my play on EM has tapered off and I've found myself enjoying the slower pace, and deeper community, of Mafia Scum.

I've enjoyed my time here so far immensely as both a player and a moderator!


Founding member of BaM

Personal Favorite Quotes

Harrisonford: i is the blue, you would trust me if you knrew internet -Epicmafia 2008


Zer0ph34r: Let me clarify some things that people are too stupid to realize with logic. -Moving Day, 2009

don_johnson: deadlines are for slackers. i get things done. -WWF Mafia, 2009

don_johnson: reading is for chumps. -WWF Mafia, 2009


Town: 13-8

Scum: 1-2

Independent: 0-1

Mod: 2-0

Game History (in order of completion)

I. Newbie 640: Town Loss: This is where I learned that forums mafia != chat room mafia. Xtoxm, iamusername, The Fonz, and elvis_knits did a great job as official and unofficial ICs in this game.

II. SSW III (Mini Theme) Town Win: I loved this swift game. I drew a lot of unnecessary attention to myself day one for just going with the flow. This game taught me to hate day 1. Johono is a sweet mod.

III. Mallrats (Mini Theme) Aborted: I actually consider this game a town loss. Our mod vanished and I was happy to see this game die. I tried to get SpyreX hung just for the hell of it, and it exploded in my face. I learned to not manipulate people when town.

IV. Sense Motive (Mini Theme) Aborted: Cool theory, didn't have a chance of actually working. I have to wonder if this was tested... I hope it comes back someday in a playable form.

V. Tranquility (Mini Normal) Town Loss: bad mason claims tore this game apart. I, however, shouldn't have self-hammered to prove a point. Again, I drew too much suspicion onto myself and got our cop (me) role-blocked.

VI. Office Supplies Mafia (Mini Theme) Mafia Loss: A perfect victory for the town. Scum had almost no chance this game after about page 4.

VII. Serum & Steel (Mini Theme) Town Win: A very quirky setup. Many rule changes and mod interference lessened my enjoyment of this one, but it was fun overall. This game is me still being in my "adolescence." It reminded me that I'm still learning and not to let my head get big, at all.

VIII. Grimmmafia (Mini Theme) Town Win: After night 1; this turned into flavorless no-flip mafia, which was sad because the flavor was cool. Again, I got myself in deep shit as town. Fortunately, the mafia night-killed me and I was freeeeeee.

IX. Newbie 706 - Oh Little Town of Damocles Town Win: This was the first time I was able to use a power role to some effect on MafiaScum. I really savored it; slow-playing the guilty report I had from night 1. I don't honestly know if it did any good, but it was Ropis said: "you swung your guilty report around like a gaval."

X. Thursday Next: Lost in a Good Book Mafia (Mini Theme) Aborted: Probably would have been another scum loss for me, partly my fault, partly the fault of my lurker/replacement-happy partners. Interesting flavor, would /in again.

XI. Hard Nights in the City (Mini Normal) Mafia Loss: Again, my day 1 hate bit me in the ass with a lot of suspicion. Unfortunately; a good Vig shot took the scum chances way down from a beautiful start.

XII. Capital of the World! (Mini Normal) Town Win: A near-perfect win. My best game as town so far. My giant Mathematics post in the very early Day 1 outed a scum, and the voting block I suggested ended up winning the game. Very happy about how this one turned out.

XIII. Wheel of Time Mafia Mini (Mini Theme) Replaced: I found myself horribly out-classed in this game. It was all TL;DR for me, I had to replace out. The "no-lurking" policy and a PM from the mod forced me to quit, in the end. Unfortunately, me and this game just weren't a good match.

XIV. Newbie 736 Town Win: Two days, two dead scum! My first game as I.C.. I hope I did ok. Most of the reactions I got were "leading us to the wolves" and "too protown." Aaaand there might have been a ~little~ bandwagon hopping.

XV. La Cosa Nostra (Mini Normal) Town Win: I don't think this game was necessarily as town-heavy unbalanced as some people seem to think. The PGO and AMNE made it potentially very swingy. In this one, though, everything worked out for the town. I'm proud to have shot two scum as vig; my best vig game ever.

XVI. Moving Day Mafia (Mini Normal) Town Loss: I played terribly in this game. The scum shouldn't have won so flawlessly. My performance in this game probably means I should take a break for a while.

XVII. Normalcy (Mini Normal) Mod Win: My first opportunity to mod a game here on Mafia Scum! I had a good time, although I can't believe that my ~swift~ game took longer than many ~regular~ games! It seems like everyone had a good time, although I sometimes felt as if the game wasn't "interesting" enough. I think the one-shot dynamic worked out well, but I realized a bit into it that there were a couple night-action possibilities that I hadn't considered. Fortunately, they didn't come up! The scum played a great game, and took home the win! Congratulations!

XVIII. Newbie 744 Town Win: I made all of 4(?) posts in this game, but I did help lynch the final scum (the hammerer cited my pbpa as spot on for him). All the credit in the universe, however, goes to Charter for pulling his game together tight and lynching the crap out of KMD; scumbo extraordinaire'.

XIX. Street Fighter 4 (Mini Theme) Town Win: I was the cop and got blocked night 1. I was sure my target was guilty, so I lied to the town and said that my target was scum. He was, as it turned out. This game seemed very unbalanced to me, in the favor of the scum, based on sheer numbers (4 possible scum and an SK on day 2 or 3 there abouts). An excellent vig shot and a clear-headed jailer saved it for us. I'm glad I didn't loose the game for the town; I probably wont do what I did again. I did like the flavor, for sure. The mod /emo-quitting pissed me off, but what can you do?

XX. Newbie 767 Town Loss: Nightkilled night 1. I was happy to see how well all the "new" players did in this one. I know I could have played better in this one; I feel that I may have contributed a bit to the loss, in some ways.

XXI. Pale Moon Risin (Mini Normal) Town Win: Dayvig?! Are you kidding me? It was like a dream come true but I panicked! I nailed scum day 1, and that felt great. But day 2 I got overconfident on my read. Sorry Zaz! Nothing but love for the cross-killing scum ;)

XXII. Streets of Verona (Mini Normal) Independent Loss: Oh lordy did I think I had this one in the bag. 4 players left; 2 with innocent reports from a cop and 2 scummier players. I was driver/SK. I swapped with one of the scummy players and killed the other, expecting scum to target either me or the other "innocent." Welp, the best laid plans...the scum (the one I targeted!!) targeted the OTHER scummy player. Yep; I killed myself with my bus. So disappointing but it was fun to almost win as an independent. Great modding by Juls.

XXIII. WWF Battle Royale (Mini Theme) Mod Win: An incredibly fun game to mod. I thought everyone did very well, and the flavor that the players put into the game really made me smile.

XXIV. Tofu Mafia (Mini Normal) Town Loss: A hard, hard game. Vi wins, hands down. It was painful from day one, I'm glad it's over.

XXV. Newbie 803 Town Win: I honestly did not do enough in this game, but maybe that saved it(?) I was cop, got an innocent, and my scummy play (I'm sticking to the idea that it was ~intentional~) kinda screwed me up. Sub-Optimal play for sure. Thanks to Zorb for modding it :)

XXVI. MtG: Parallel Universe Mafia; Kamigawa Subgame (Mini Theme) Town Loss: One misslynch to loose. Very frustrating. Brilliant play by the Cult. Meh.

XXVII. Star Control: Zeta Sextantis (Mini Theme) Town Win: Fun flavor and interesting mechanics! I think I made good decisions in this game, but I could have done better. Walls-o-text are not always scumtells, I guess. But they are anti-town.

XXVIII. Mafia Invasion! (Mini Normal) Town Loss: I simply got bored of all the lurking and switched my (correct) vote. Lost it for the town; sorry guys!

XXIX. The Dark Goma Mafia (Large Theme) Replaced: This game was going to overwhelm me. I'm glad my replacing didn't harm my team! Go go guys!

XXX. Pick Your Power II (Large Theme) Town Loss: Well played by the scum.

XXXI. Mafia Reverberation (Mini Theme) Town Win: A very fun game by Vi! Went my way, too. Awesome.

XXXII. The Fountainhead (Mini Theme) (Wiki) Mafia Win: My first win as Mafia, omfg. I thought it was a well-played game by other people. I just got lucky with some bussing. Sort of a right place/right time situation.

XXXIII. Star Control: Alliance Initiative (Mini Theme) Town Win: An excellent voting-block formed in day 1-2. Scum got rolled, either by design or play (I tend to think the later).

XXXIV. Pick Your Power III: A Brave New World (Large Theme) Mafia Loss: Large games aren't my bag, baby. Being scum isn't my thing, either. So...this game was a personal mental abortion. I'm not even sure how they knew I was scum. Blech.


Mafia at the 11th Hour (Mini Theme)




Gone again for the time being. I have too much to do in too little time, and I can't give mafia the attention it needs. -Porkens 6/12/2010

Experimenting with a tentative return to the game... -Porkens 1/24/10

I am going on hiatus from mafia effective immediately. You've all been so kind; I hope to play again with you soon. -Porkens 10/31/09