Green Crayons

This is a page in progress. Almost everything here is a lie true from a certain perspective without question.
Liars, beggars and poets are asked to not edit. They are unclean and their minds have been sullied by the Great Liberal Brainwashing Conspiracy©.
Attorneys, hobos and scummers are asked to provide any content they may have discerned about this player at their discretion. They usually have something entertaining worthwhile to say.

Embellishment is mandatory wholly encouraged.

Biography

This is an abbreviated recollection of the trials and tribulations that has been the life and times of the user known as Green Crayons. The full, unabridged version will not be recounted here for numerous and varied reasons, the three most important and pertinent being that this editor does not have the time to do so, the limits of this wiki format cannot hold such a monumental amount of data and the final details are already being cleared away for the book deal (for the low, low price of 49.99 per episodic hardback).

The Early-Early Years

Born in the year 902 C.E., the user known as Green Crayons had a humble beginnings which ultimately proved to belie his ultimate fame and glory. Birthed from a poor beggar woman in the waning years of the Tang Empire in what is now known as mainland China, it wasn't until his seventh birthday that the first signs of his true greatness were revealed to him. A hoard of early Mongol invaders had ransacked and pillaged the dilapidated fishing village in which he resided until they came across the defenseless child being cradled in the arms of his mother. Seeing an easy kill to quench their blood-thirst, the gang of barbarians set upon the mother and son with ill intent. It was just then, when the blades were mere inches away from ending it all that his mother showed her true strength: she was a she-witch, a half-blood human-nymph hybrid. With a flash of blinding light their would-be attackers were caught off guard. Taking the initiative, the user who would one day be known on internet forums as Green Crayons slaughtered the band of grown men with his bare hands, feasting on their flesh to empower his rage.

Not wanting to take any chances, he slaughtered the remaining villagers with whom he had grown up. And for good measure, his mother. She was always a sickly thing that poor dear.

The Early Years

Knowing now that his mother was a foreigner and he wasn't a native Chinese citizen, this user set off from this town he had for so long mistakenly thought to be his place of birth. He traveled far and wide, making friends with the birds and beasts. They attempted to teach him their languages, but after a few bruised egos and some nice bear pelts he made into coats for himself, it was the birds and beasts who learned his language. His travels eventually brought him to a land declared holy by several groups of humans and the lot were having quite the tiff concerning the ownership the place. Finding he just really couldn't be bothered to look into the details of this rather boring real estate dispute, he instead had himself learned by the best archers and swordsmen in the land so that he could slaughter people with weapons for their own benefit. Having bested several an armed man with his mere hands, he found that they were quite ashamed to learn that they were killed by his bare hands when they had been armed to the teeth. So, for the dignity of his victims (which were plentiful), he took to using weapons.

The Middle Years

This lone wanderer continued upon his way, many of the years lost to time and simply cannot be recounted in the here and now (though everything will be in the books, I assure you). He accomplished a few things of note, including encouraging Napoleon to fight onwards at Waterloo, introduced the wonderful relaxant Opium to China, taught the Pilgrims of the New World about hypocrisy and intolerance, cultivated the first batch of small pox to keep down wild boar populations troubling Russian settlements and was single-handed in his effort in making the Industrial Revolution occur when he found out he was part robot. This explained many things, including his sharp wit, infallible logic, immense strength and, of course, his wildly popularized sexual stamina of infinite longevity.

The Latest Years

Not to be known as the "late years," simply because the user known as Green Crayons is pretty sure that these latest years will simply eventually become meshed together with the Middle Years, which in turn will be lumped together with the Early Years as enough time passes on. Bored with wandering the earth, this user has instead found a small joy in taking upon the facade as a lawyer in training as a way to ruin people's lives all the while maintaining a sense of legitimacy. Arguing has always been a point of fun for this user, so it almost seems like a natural fit. As a side note, his racial Nymph-Robot background has really helped him with school admissions as he fills a hotly contested minority position to fill at any school.

Disclaimer

If you believe anything of the above, I highly suggest you also visit Crazy People's Favorite Web Page Ever

Worthless Endeavors

As time has passed, this user has labored in numerous jobs. Each has had a common impact upon this user: He has grown to hate people in any sort of capitalist situation. If it involves the exchange of goods, services or good service for money in return, he will probably hate the person on the other side of the deal. Because those people are 99% of the time unadulterated shitheads. (Note: This user is still a fan of capitalism!) (Note: This user is not bitter!) These occupations include:

• Fast Food Chef (tee hee, "chef")
• Restaurant Server
• Clothing Retail Employee
• Deli Cook
• Law Firm Grunt

Miscellaneous Notes of Wonderment

• This user prefers winning arguments over winning games.
• This user takes very little notes; everything is kept in his head, neatly filed away until needed.
• This user juggles while reading games. Usually knives. With the hilts on fire. It helps him concentrate on what people are saying.
• This user loves sushi - absolutely delicious!

Mafia Game History

A brief history lesson.

Mafiascum.net Game History

All games prior to Mafiascum.net's first crash were lost. This crash was when mafiascum.net was new, hip site on the scene and still had issues with server problems - much like young adults and their adjustment issues when they go into their first class in high school and there's an awkward silence of having started to feel the effects of puberty over the summer so now all the pasty boys are having these strange and wild urges towards the girls but harbor the notion that the pizza-slice of a face that they're sporting might very well be a stomach-churning turn off for potential mates. ...Something like that, I do believe, yes.

Of course, such things (server issues) are unheard of in this day and age on Mafiascum. Kind of like the American Depression. You know it was bad, but the best you can relate to it are the stories your grandparents told you about the hardships their parents had to endure. Ah well. Of the games lost, it includes my first game where jeep (scum) totally got me (townie) lynched just because I was new and he was established. And a more lengthy writer. It had no impact on how I played, honest engine.

Weep with me for our loss of these relics.

Game	Start Date	End Date	Role / Alignment	Win / Lose / Draw	Living or CoD
cuban smoker's Intrigue Mafia (Large Normal 10)	03/06/03	05/30/04	Retired Bodyguard (3-Time Martyr Doc) / Town	Loss	D4 Sacrifice
Leonidas' London Mafia (Large Theme)	04/17/03	11/29/03	The Duke of Kent (Mason) / Town	Win	N5 SK Kill
MeMe's No Frills Mafia (Mini 47)	07/24/03	08/27/03	Townie / Town	Loss	N2 Mafia Kill
mikehart's Lagootany Mafia (Mini 54)	08/31/03	Abandoned by Mod	FBI Agent (Selective Cop) / Town	Draw	Alive
massive's The Aftermath Mafia (Mini 97)	03/14/04	05/02/04	Town Mayor (Hider/RBer) / Town	Loss	Endgame kill by outnumbering Mafia
gslamm's Mini (Mini 109)	05/04/04	06/18/04	Lawyer (one-shot lynch protector) / Town	Loss	Endgame kill by outnumbering Mafia
Dasquian's Siege of San Quida (Large 23)	05/25/04	03/30/04	Henchman / Mafia	Loss	N3 SK Kill
Someone's Mad Mafia (Mini 118)	06/24/04	Abandoned by Mod	Sanity Cop / Town	Draw	Alive
Mr Stoofer's Back to Gambits II (Large 45)	12/18/05	03/03/06	Mafia Scum / Mafia	Loss	D4 Lynch
~deathsquiggle~'s The Siege on Harrogath (Mini 266)	12/19/05	03/28/06	Barbarian Warrior (vanilla) / Town	Loss	N? Mafia Kill
halo freak's Mini (Mini 269)	12/31/05	03/23/06	Mafia Scum / Mafia	Win	Alive
Rathyr's Werewolf Mafia (Mini 381)	10/01/06	Abandoned by Mod	Townie / Town	Draw	Alive
mikeburnfire's PS2SUXZ! Mafia (Large Theme)	10/10/06	--	Kirby / Mafia (Nintendo Group)	--	Replaced (wat a punk, I know rgr?)
chaotic_diablo's Fairytale Mafia (Mini 391)	11/14/06	02/22/07	Pinocchio (Cop) / Town	Win	Alive
petroleumjelly's Royal Family Mafia (Large Theme)	11/06/06	10/01/07	Court Jester (Mafia Spy) / Mafia	Win	N1 Mafia Kill
Patrick's Boost Mafia (Mini 692)	10/20/08	ongoing	-- / -- (replacer)	--	--
SensFan's Office Supplies Mafia (Mini 694)	10/21/08	12/16/08	Office Computer / SK	Loss	N1 Kill
Charter's Cops and Robbers Mafia (Mini 707)	11/13/08	ongoing	-- / --	--	--

Greylabyrinth.com Game History

It was only in compiling the information for this table that this user realized just how many games he has played in or actually took the time to watch that was created and moderated by Amb (or conversed at length with Amb about a crazy new setup idea he had knocking about in that head of his). Amb is awesome but doesn't visit MafiaScum (sticking to GreyLabyrinth, where mafia activity has died off), which makes this user incredibly sad. His unique set-ups, roles and general laid back New Zealand mindset will forever make him a favorite mafia fiend of this user. Plus he totally got this user into Cricket, which is just about the best sport ever.

Game	Start Date	End Date	Role / Alignment	Win / Lose / Draw	Living or CoD
Degenerate's Anarchy in the USA Mafia	10/22/02	12/11/02	Mason / Town	Win	Survived
Courk's Football Mafia	11/10/02	02/02/03	Cop / Town	Win	Survived
Amb's Vanilla Mafia	11/28/02	12/22/02	Doctor / Town	Win	Survived
Amb's Designer Mafia	01/02/03	02/08/03	Ventriloquist / Town	Loss	D1 Lynch
Dragon Phoenix 's Rock and Pop Mafia (the Sequel)	01/03/03	02/28/03	Anthrax / Mafia	Loss	D4 Lynch
PuzzleProdigy's Pearls of Lutra Mafia	02/06/03	Abandoned by Mod	Grath Longfletch (vig) / Town	Draw	N1 Kill
Amb's Entomology Mafia	01/09/03	09/22/03	Bee (vig) / Town	Loss	N2 Kill
Amb's Designer Mafia II	02/14/03	06/08/03	Role Blocker / Mafia	Loss	D8 Lynch
mole's Perpetual Mafia	02/24/03	Abandoned by Mod	??	Draw	Survived
Sebastian's Invasion Mafia	03/05/03	05/28/03	Military Medic (cop) / Town	Win	D3 Lynch
Courk's Clue Mafia	07/28/03	10/30/03	Mr. Apple / Mafia	Win	D7 Lynch
Dragon Phoenix 's Movie Mafia	11/07/03	01/23/04	Norman Bates / Monster Mafia	--	Replaced
Dragon Phoenix 's James Bond Mafia	01/03/06	04/06/06	Q (doc-ish) / Town	Loss	D4 Lynch
filibuster's Lost Mafia	11/11/06	02/08/07	Alex Rousseau / Mafia	Loss	D3 Lynch
Amb's Deep South IV: Calvin & Hobbes Mafia	11/21/06	05/03/07	Calvin's Bicycle / Serial Killer	Loss	Backfired Suicide
Amb's Cop Mini Mafia	01/27/07	04/12/07	Jon Baker (Role Blocker) / Town	Win	Survived
The Great Crep'er's Memory Mafia	09/26/08	Abandoned by Mod	Mr. Friendly / Mafia	Draw	Survived