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Signature from "Edgar Allan Poe, Probably" by Mallory Ortberg -- | Signature from "Edgar Allan Poe, Probably" by Mallory Ortberg -- the-toast.net/2015/09/01/edgar-allan-poe-probably/ | ||
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Revision as of 23:59, 6 September 2015
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Signature from "Edgar Allan Poe, Probably" by Mallory Ortberg -- the-toast.net/2015/09/01/edgar-allan-poe-probably/
| The Cask of Amontillado | |
|---|---|
| MONTRESOR: | I have had it up to here with how many times Fortunato has hurt my feelings |
| it’s time to bury him alive instead of ever saying I don’t like it when he does that | |
| FORTUNADO: | but what have I done to deserve this |
| MONTRESOR: | YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID |
| my family crest is of a nobleman who can’t take a joke | |
| we have two methods of dealing with insults: | |
| 1) never say a word about how we feel and just silently stew | |
| 2) bury someone alive | |
| FORTUNATO: | Truly, I have no idea – |
| MONTRESOR: | well maybe you’ll have some time to think about it after I wall you up in my wine cellar |