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the pie

Ah, a lovely chap who has dastardly desires for the things that go bump in the night, both in creating their bumping and at other times locating the source of that damned bumping noise and returning it restfully to a quiet spot on the shelf. Not much else to trout on about, but a good hoodoo to you whoever you may be and with any luck we'll be riding the great grey whale skywards some time in the mafia dead zone.

It is with some regret that I have self-informed myself that despite my lovable lovely chap-ish desires I also have unstable elements of belligerence and hyperbole-for-dramatic-effect, lurking in hidden spaces on my person. Were particular elements of posting - quite often but not limited to rampant stupidity, aggression, illiteracy or general douchebaggery - put forward in my presence then said unstable elements will explode in random pockets of posting. Rest assured that lasting damage is not intended, and to my knowledge has not occurred.

Regards, Pie

PS. As a super awesome bonus feature to this introduction, I am now presenting a brief journey of the life of pie (haha) in avatar form:

Groucho jesus.JPG November 2011 - May 2013

Butterfly man.jpg June 2013 - Present

the windowsill

ie. the spot for any visiting person to come to, cool off and leave comments and/or quotes on the pie

Hit edit and show the love. (Or I'll just put my own ego-boosting hyperbole everywhere)

"You're walking along to dinner, trying to figure out who is out to get you, when someone suggests going to a place that has good pie. Two of you drop behind and one says, "Yeah, Pecan Pie! Let's get Pecan Pie!"

The cry rings in your ears. "Get Pecan Pie! Get Pecan Pie!" Given your incompetence, you take that as a cue to assume pieceofpecanpie is the bad cop! You dive on him, tackle him to the ground, and beat his brains out.

Wait -- beat his brains out? Who did that? As you scramble to your feet you realize that two of you are holding guns on the other two. "All too easy" one of them says.

Bang! Bang!

One of them says "First sword swallowers, now cops. We are invincible!" And they run off to an Open Game coming sometime soon." - saulres, Precinct Madness endgame flavour, October 8th (taken with permission)

The day was cut short when SafetyDance announced that some dude in a pie costume was part of the mafia. Before he could explain anything else, several people had vanished from the meeting, taking the pie guy with them. A few moments later, a truck revved its engines, then peeled out onto a road towards the Greatly Convenient Canyon That-Has-Clearly-Been-Here-The-Whole-Time. After watching the truck make a sick ramp jump into it, everyone recieves a text message.

"I wasn't trying to kill you guys godamnit"

Several seconds later, your phones buzz again, this time coinciding with the crash of the truck at the bottom of the canyon.

"P.S. you guys are jerks."

pieceofpecanpie was lynched! He was a Vanilla Townie. - Gammagooey, Open 480 kill-scene flavour, April 4th (permission pending)

the games

Ordered from most recent to oldest.


Mini 1521: The Fall

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal RadiantCowbells Mafia Rolecop Replaced Hermy, Day 4 Survived 6 days N/A Mafia Win
Well, I saw the call of help in the replacement thread and thought "sure I'll jump into a 100+ page game". But not really, as per my recent experience with Open 536, reading through big threads can be pretty damn tough (especially when arriving late to the party). Fortunately, I was handed a scum role so I could be a bit choosy about what I read and just pick out things that would favour myself and my buddy. I feel I did this pretty well, put some momentum behind mislynching Mastin and that's where we ended up at the end of the day/game (it was mylo). Not bad in under a weeks work.

Song Contest U-Pick

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Large Theme Matias & quadz08 Ongoing Ongoing Started Ongoing Ongoing Ongoing Ongoing

Open 536: Faith Plus One

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Faith Plus One bubbajack8 Town Faith Healer Started Killed Night 5 95 days 1/2 Mafia Win
Ai, a bit of tough luck and poor play involved in this one. Things started well with a scum lynch on Majiffy's suspect slot, but the Cop had already claimed in an earlier heat-of-moment post. Where stuff got a bit tough was firstly the pace and fury of the posting (and I mean that in an emotive sense), and secondly the forums kept dropping out for me constantly. Pretty soon we'd whooshed passed the 100 page mark and there I was only able to access the site every other day or so, for a fraction of time, and barely able to post (one refresh too many and BAM sql error to the face). I feel I crumbed my role well, but pretty soon I was forced to claim along with the other healer (Taylor) who had done so earlier. From there it was a race to see how soon town could find the other scum and how many favourable coin flips we'd get out of the healers cross-protecting (I believe it was one). Unfortunately, when things were at their clutch moment everyone was turning to me (as the only confirmed town) for answers and I could barely log on, let alone post anything constructive. Then I guided folks to the wrong choice (Mollie hydra) and scum got a nice mislynch the following day to seal the game. Disappointing that I couldn't contribute more, mostly out of my hands, but I could've found other ways around it if I'd really tried. Disappointing town play by both Guyett and Mollie, the former for doing extremely little, the latter for just yelling abuse and everyone else. However, the remaining scum did play this one very well and earnt their win.

Open 526: Lock, Stock and Nine Smoking Barrels

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Duck, Duck, Goose! Varsoon Town 1-Shot PGO Replaced Metal Sonic Day 1 Killed Night 1 7 days 0/1 Mafia Win
I replaced in, fingered some obvious scum (KX), mentally picked out the other two scum, made a WIFOM remark about arming myself, didn't, and died Night 1. And if that sounds brutally egocentric, trust me I'm as surprised as you are. I came into this game without much faith for the state of my town game and left mightily confused by the accuracy of my initial scum reads. If I can use this intuition and translate it into solid townplay, with good pushes and a sensible outlook when entering discussions then all hope is not lost for future town games. However, this game the rest of town were pretty lackluster and didn't seem to have the energy. They got rolled.

ACCESS CODE 1461 Paradox Prime

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Theme AurorusVox Town Kisa Flowers, Engineer Replaced Ghostlin Day 2 Survived 23 days  ??? Town Win
Really, really cool game mechanic. I was blown away and immersed by the flavour and thought-provoking experience merely thinking about how the game functioned. Unfortunately I feel this left me lacking in the reads and comments department. However, I eventually got to use my super-awesome gate wormhole ability, which sent us back to a previous Day to be joined in discussion by all the confirmed dead townie buddies, so I kind of consider that my contribution. I'm a bit sad I didn't do more, like I said, I was genuinely blown away by the set up.

Mini 1473: Super Smash Bros. Mafia

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Theme Oversoul Town Mario, Honorable 1-Shot Day Vigilante Started Killed Night 1 17 days 0/1 Mafia Win
Oh noes, this could've been very cool. Then some definitely not cool things happened. Firstly: Keybladewielder, avoid playing with in future at all costs. Slightly related is Darthe who also managed to lie about his role when claiming. So that was two townies who weren't worth their salt for this game. Secondly: I was killed Night 1 :( Thirdly: the balance was off, once it started the way it did things were too scumsided. A bit of a pity.

Mini 1469 - Rage

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal GuyInFreezer Town Vanilla Replaced bestwillcui Day 1 Lynched Day 1 9 days 0/1 Mafia Win
My first attempt at replacing didn't last long. My slightly coy behaviour towards reads got beaten down by the hydra of Magua and Regfan, in similar fashion to my play in Vanger Family Mafia. Can't say I'm too worried about it, the game was extremely disruptive with flaking all round and replacement after replacement made the slots a messy mud pile. I did the best to steer my own honest and useful course for the rest of town, but scum played this one well.

Open 506 - Pick Your Power X/Y

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Pick Your Power X/Y Jennifer Town Universal Backup (1-shot Vig) Started Survived 21 days 1/4 Town Win
That was quick! A game that started quite well and then simply imploded for scum, by the end of Day 1 scum-Deckard self-hammered and from there the other two just dropped. Full credit goes to Yesterday (an apparent Regfan alt) who firstly fingered the scum and then destroyed their responses to the accusations. The killing assists have to go to the scum team who made some ridiculous claims, thus sealing their fate.

Open 504 - Masons and Mafia

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Masons and Mafia SafetyDance Town Mason Started Survived 56 days 2/5 Town Win
Rather a fun game, from a set-up perspective at least, since it's nightless the posts came thick and fast as did the scum shots. A couple of scum derped their shots and promptly died, then we hit a snag with some mislynches, major lurkage and tunneling of previously unknown proportions by Wisdom. Apparently señor mafia player extraordinaire does this all the time and compromises for no one (hmmm sounds like a douchebag). About 60 pages of crap-filled noisy one-liners later and a decent-ish Mason replacement came in the form of penguin_alien, which off-set TheIrishPope's unpredictable play much better than the lurkers. Then the scum replacement 2birds1stone led us down the path of firstly hard-bussing his remaining partner and then through a series of mislynches. Luckily town wisened up and managed to cooperate enough to put an end to it, of course Wisdom took full credit for everything, filled his ego and rode off into the sunset.

League of Legends Mafia

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Large Theme quadz08, singersigner, Glork & co-setup designers Gammagooey, hitogoroshi Town Garen, the Might of Demacia Started Killed Night 5 84 days 1/4 Mafia Win
A big monster of a game. The set-up and mechanics ended up being the highlight of this shitty little slap-fest. A couple of people really let their colours shine, propelling them high up the list of douchebaggery-I-will-not-subject-myself-to-in-the-future (*ahem* esuriospiritus). My best play was probably catching MrZepher's posting style as scummy Day 2 and helping him get lynched - and flipping scum - my worst play was probably not capatilising on this afterwards and establishing myself more as a pro-town player. Andrius did his best to lead town along, but it was all for naught as we proved ourselves more capable of killing each other off than scum. We probably also proved ourselves more capable of sapping enjoyment out of the game than would be expected of most human adults.

Open 480 - C9++

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
C9++ Gammagooey Town Vanilla Started Lynched Day 3 40 days 0/3 Mafia Win
Hahahahahahahaha! Oh man, watch the pure WTFuckery as Day 3 rolls around with the Cop - SafetyDance - fakeclaiming a guilty on me, DESPITE having a confirmed guilty result on someone else, and then a quicklynch occurring before I even get a chance to post. The throws, the throws (dumb hammer by implosion was a kodak moment). My face hurt after these events, although beyond that the game actually went pretty well for a while. Perhaps it is possible for me to enjoy playing games. Here's hoping...


Mini 1395: WoW Cataclysm Mafia

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Theme Nimb Town Unholy Death Knight Started Lynched Day 1 25 days 0/1 Mafia Win
This is the game that broke the camels back. I've regularly recognised my own fallacies and try to improve my play from game to game, but I made an effort here, I tried to stir a mostly dormant group of players and I get bumped off for the effort. Not even by scum (which was my hope as per my plague ability), but by people who either can't be bothered or just want me lynched simply because they do. Since it sounds like I'm developing some sort of persecution complex, coupled with my lack of enjoyment with the last few games I think it's time to quietly step outside for a moment, wander around in the sun and think about contributing through game modding and set up.

Vanger Family Mafia

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Theme quadz08 Town Naive Cop Started Killed Night 1 23 days 1/1 Mafia Win
This is the first game where I've tuned out after being killed. I believe I was V/LA for a few days shortly after turning up dead and beyond glancing at the game from time to time never really kept track of who was scummy-ing who. I was disappointed that in my first Cop game I not only played poorly - getting caught out in passivity land by a very sharp Xisiqomelir - but I also turned out to be Naive, meaning - had I lived - sooner or later I'd be in the uncomfortable position of lying to myself about my reads, or worse still to the rest of town. My small redeeming moment in Day 1 was accurately picking Whiskers as scum, I was feeling nice and confident about that. Thor did push my buttons though. Geez I got angry by his holier-than-every-breathing-creature attitude that he sauntered around with in this game, like a little badge stuck next to his name that would read something along the lines of "Best Mafia Performance" or "Best IC Player". Little did I know that the following game would push my pop-out blood vessels of rage into projectional overdrive.

Open 454: JK9

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
JK9 Lupo Town Jailkeeper Started Killed Night 3 22 days  ??? Mafia Win
Urghhh, what can I say? This should've been one of those games where I guess scum correctly, wrap it up in a neat package and laugh all the way to the bank. At least as the only power role that could make an impact I felt the onus was on me to do something. Especially in a field of confused, if not marginally useless townies, I still managed to feel in control. Then a sneaky no kill Night 2, a bit of impatience for me to wrap it up with an impending week long V/LA and townies happy to be spoonfed one idea rather than think independently had this was swing right around. To do something half-right only to mess up is a bit crushing. I won't be ego tripping anytime soon.

Whose's Tit is Tat? (Mirco 24)

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Tit for Tat Guy_Named_Riggs Mafia Back-Up Jailkeeper Started Lynched Day 2 27 days N/A Town Win
Holy cow! Scumbuddy frog for town MVP. A brief "rumdown" of the game: AI wagon to L-1 > no CC comes > AI wagon abandoned > rummy frog fake claims as the other town PR > Fancy-Pants CC's > frog lynched > I find myself top of a small list of unconfirmed lynch candidates > Ankamius accidentally hammers me despite finding my desperate lies compelling > Game. So it would've taken some small miracle to weasel out of this one, but alas, a hilarious albeit frustrating game. Although Ankamius said "I'd like to apologize for pieceofpecanpie for that accidental hammer after stating that no lynching is more likely for a town win. That has to be one of the worst ways to lose ever", I'm okay about the loss, it was out of my hands, and I can think of at least one worse way involving a telephone, chilli sauce and the anus.

Micro 27 - Precinct Madness!

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Micro saulres Town Naive Cop Started Lynched Day 3 30 days  ??? Mafia Win
This game has served as a fine example of my inability to combine set-up theory with gameplay. Although others contributed to the complete town wipe-out, my own ineptitude to scumhunt normally and distraction with the set-up theory was telling. This game is a fine lesson on how I can improve various deficiencies in the future.

Mini 1368

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal ChaosOmega Town Miller Started Alive 67 days  ??? Town Win
Not a bad game. I felt a bit lukewarm about some of my zealous talk early in regards to my Miller claim, in hindsight I'd certainly approach that differently. Beyond that a pretty good game. Was played out well by town, although scum did hamstring themselves a bit, which although initially confusing was ultimately their downfall. PS. Cogito is a douche.

Open 427: PYP X/Y

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Pick Your Power X/Y Scott Brosius Mafia Vengeful Started Lynched Day 1 30 days N/A Mafia Win
Wow! By the time this one finished I felt like a mostly forgotten guest actor from the pilot episode, who promptly didn't get asked back for the 7 episodes commissioned by the tv network, and had to wait and see how the script writers resolved my characters plot lines by watching the full season air at the rate of an episode per fortnight. Amazingly after all that, scum won! I was an observer watching - depending on who you ask - town fail or petapan succeed. I'm in the latter category for this one, although town made their share of mistakes, I felt petapan capatalised on them with a degree of brilliance and aplomb worthy of much props, song dedications, marriage proposals and alcohol-related merriment well into the night.

Mini 1341

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal Jackal711 Mafia Goon Started Alive 50 days N/A Mafia Win
Ahhh scum, what fun you are. Although Pine attracted rather a lot of attention and got lynched for it quite early, the major payoff was that ac1983fan put himself into a strong town position because of it. Junpei replaced in for ac1983fan and continued the pro town trend, finishing the game off nicely. All I had to do was keep my nose relatively clean, which in this case worked out, and walk away rosy-cheeked and victorious, albeit with the slightly guilty tinge of our deceitful actions towards the town players. All part and parcel of mafia territory.

Mini 1326: Mansion Mafia

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal chauchaudotcom Town Vanilla Started Lynched Day 2 36 days  ??? Mafia Win
A rather excellent game, but not much can be said of my contribution. My town play was weak, this was the second game where I flaked too much when talk was important. In a game with only two scum they played incredibly well and held sway over the whole group, my hat goes off to Equinox and ICEninja. Had it been the original scum team of Jackal711 and drmyshotgun, they would've been sent packing early, empty handed, with less props than a P-3 Orion.

Newbie 1227: Title pending

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
2of4 Voidedmafia Town Vanilla Started Alive 53 days  ??? Town Win
A nice game overall and my first "official" win due to the server crash nullifying Newbie 1211. Didn't play too badly, pushed for the mislynch on Thomith Day 1, but recovered Day 2 by nailing Twisted as scum (I, correctly, pushed hard for that one as well). Day 3 became tricky, mostly due to Greywing's slippery play as the final scum, but Thor's brilliance cracked the case wide open. I walked away with a win, but it felt a little less deserved on the part of being rather flakey towards the end at a crucial time. Thor's no mafia spring chicken though, and his parting words of guidance were a plus for the future.

Mini 1318 - This Little Town

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal Oversoul Town Vanilla Started Lynched Day 3 20 days  ??? Mafia Win
Have to chalk this one up to being a best of bothworlds scenario for the scum. Not only did I arrive 48hours into the game to find myself in Day 1 twilight, but some valuable players were killed straight up in the night. Struggling to throw meaningful reads and play out in Day 2 ultimately ended in confusion, the glory of hindsight revealing that scum were doing more talking than the otherwise passive town. After being thrown in jail during the night, I was protected from scum clutches, but it only forestalled death by about 24hours as the scum were able to get enough of the remaining moronic town to pile on me the following day. The game ended with mostly lurking and regrettably little manipulation required for another mislynch and easy scum win.


Newbie 1211

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
2of4 Zajnet Mafia Goon Started Alive  ?? days N/A Abandoned
Really unfortunate that my first introduction to Mafia was met by the great server crash, which wiped all our fine work away. My scumbuddy Praetyre and I made quite a team, and we had this one on a platter. The Cop went down the first day and we had the Jailkeeper by the second night. With his strong guidance and my intuition to listen to his strong guidance we were busily manipulating and conjugating and discombobulating the rest of the town. They were dazzled, and then we were too when the forums blew up. As Praetyre put it, "I'm gutted as a salmon about the matter."

the mod

Open 540 - a C9 + + [1] (January 6th - ongoing)

Open 502 - Switch Mafia [2] (June 4th - August 17th 2013)

My first Mod experience. It was a lot of fun! I spent quite some time reading up on and thinking through how to get the modding schtick down pat. First thing I'd recommend doing is get a nice ruleset going that feels "you", as it'll help you start to envision what sort of Mod you want to be. From there it's still brown trousers time!

So I'd have to say I got a pretty decent playerlist together for this game and although there was a bit of replacement and lackluster activity tomfoolery for the most part things ran smoothly. I enjoyed being able to take an omnipresent seat and watch the ensuing chaos. I liked the look of Switch Mafia mechanics, so decided to roll with that one, and although it's only an Open game I gave the flavour the best crack I could, which was as follows:

NIGHT 0 It is the distant future, a dystopian and bleak looking future version of our planet. Just imagine you’re watching a Ridley Scott film (preferably Blade Runner) and I won’t have to labour over this smattering of flavour too heavily.

Having craved it for so long humans have finally evolved that extra sense we always dreamed about: telepathy. Unfortunately humans hadn’t taken the time to outgrow those slightly older traits like manipulation, deceptiveness and sociopathic lust for power and control. Thus unseen and powerful rulers gathered people together into small and manageable colonies – or hives – allowing them to harness these enslaved souls underdeveloped yet pure telepathic abilities to help them expand some sort of empire or trade spices or [insert necessary evil protagonist motivation here].

For the rulers to maintain a sense of control and order these hives were most likely arranged in large networked buildings, most likely painted a bright and sterile white, and removed from the dark fire-effect-ridden and flying-car beams through night sky stylisations (remember we’re channelling Blade Runner here) contained in the dysfunctional dystopian outer world. The members of these hives were also most likely shaved bald and dressed in uniform genderless clothing, perhaps the same sterile white as the building, or even a slightly flashy military grey. There would probably be more androgyny present than David Bowie in his heyday, or in George Lucas’ early film Thx 1138. Also present would be a number of androgynous evil henchme-uhhh-thingies, planted there by the ruler, as another means of maintaining control.

Although I’m sure there were several rulers present on our future planet, each vying for more greatness than the last, they would all understand one thing: telepathy was a powerful tool for gaining said power, yet the hive minds were only ever a short step away from reaching a level of self-awareness that would prove beyond their control. There was every chance the hives could prove to be a rulers undoing. Not to mention androgynous evil henchthingies going rogue whom we shan’t even mention.

Humans were still curious creatures at heart, no matter how minimally furnished or white their surroundings were, and knowledge was still power (especially when combined with extra sensory perception). There was every chance a hive mind could uncover the moles planted amongst them, overthrow them and from there, well… They’d probably show those uncouth and minimalist rulers a thing or two about warm colour palettes and spring fashion wear.

DAY 1 Having established an iconic and extremely original futuristic concept, our story-telling camera now zooms itself through the catacombs of endless drab white corridors within one of these buildings. This is a building controlled by one of those previously mentioned spice-y empire-obsessed rulers and is indeed utilised for housing countless colonies of hive minds. Our camera - for convenient reasons - finally settles its view on a vast windowless blast door, which has large writing plastered across it stating: HIVE #502.

Behind this reinforced door lie a few interconnected rooms, minimally yet efficiently furnished, which represent the living, sleeping and entire livelihood for that matter of little over a dozen minds held captive in order to exploit their underdeveloped extra-sensory telekinetic powers. We already know that planted amongst these minds are a number of androgynous evil hench-thingies, put there to maintain control and order, and within HIVE #502 there’s even an androgynous evil henchthingy gone rogue whom we shan’t mention. Another thing unique to HIVE #502 is that control and order were fast beginning to slip from the hench-thingies clutches. The minds, perhaps as a result of being given flashy military grey genderless uniforms instead of sterile white, were beginning to ask questions. They were probing both outwards to seek knowledge and inwards to discover greater strength in their powers.

The androgynous hench-thingies were worried although, possibly through the help of botox injections, their faces still bore a largely neutral and slightly girl-boyish expression. However, they were collectively scheming ways to re-establish order. The ripples of inquisitiveness felt coming from the hive minds was extremely dangerous, HIVE #502 was nearing chaos, especially if these stronger minds were given a chance to organise themselves.

“No chances!” they screamed at one another that night. They were huddled over a tiny bench within the small kitchenette, which was separated from the sleeping quarters where the hive minds were – presumably - asleep.

“We must strike.”

Loosely summarised, their plan was to ‘cleanse’ key minds until order was regained. With any luck they’d also come across the former evil henchthingy gone rogue who had hidden his David Bowie-looking self somewhere amongst the hive mind and was probably doing some hideous thing, like making decisions and schemes completely independent of everyone else.

They were probably right.

Ms Marangal, Vanilla Townie, was killed Night 0 mujie, Mafia Vigilante Switch, was killed Night 0

END OF DAY 1 ”Ah glorious power!” exclaimed several members of the hive mind, their minds ever-expanding, reaching out and filling with knowledge.

“But what shall we do with it?” queried one.

“Let’s kill things.” another piped up.

“Delicious.” murmured several.

Bear in mind that, despite their new-found enthusiasm towards killing things, the enslaved minds of HIVE #502 ultimately wanted freedom and thus were still to be considered good. With evil very much filling every spotless corner of the tiny rooms, killing was a means to an end.

And with minds waking up dead, it felt like there was a bit of a ticking clock. Just like in the movies.

While some members of the hive mind had been in the process of modifying their genderless military-grey uniforms – widening the lapels, adding flares, dotting them with sequins and the like – they’d managed to combine a number of drawstrings from the pants to create a stout noose. With a startling cheer, filled with the thirst for freedom, they strung up the first sign of encountered evil and watched as the condemned soul fought for breath.

mvmafia, Vanilla Townie, was lynched Day 1

DAY 2 ”Arghhh!” cried one of the hench-thingies in girlish falsetto.

“We’ve been bested, how did they know where to find us? It’s almost like they have some sort of extra-sensory telekinetic abilities that up until now have been more or less dormant, or at the very least docile enough for us to exploit. Now we have to hide from them more than ever.”

“Patience,” the other one mused. “They aren’t as strong as you think, you saw as well as I did how they hung one of their own. Although I will admit, this is rather chaotic.”

“I wish we’d know what that traitorous roguish former hench-thingy was up to. I’m scared!” cried the first one again.

“Come, come now,” cooed the other thoughtfully. “No more of this yelling or they’ll hear us. How about I tuck you nice and warm into your bunk and bring you some low-fat cocoa. Then we’ll both get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow will be a big day.”

And with the promise of slumber they shuffled noiselessly towards the sleeping quarters, where sleeping minds were probing soundlessly into the night.

enomis, Town Doctor, was killed Night 1

END OF DAY 2 ”Would you get a load of that body!” exclaimed one of the hive mind, the doctor’s corpse laying stiff and stretched out on their bunk.

Now with more drawstrings from their pants than ever, the hive minds eyes filled with fury and anger. If only a certain androgynous pop singer could adopt a British swagger and entice them all to dance away their blues. Instead they collected as a mob, they began to sway, and they began to chant.

“Let’s lynch! Put on our military-grey slippers and lynch the fools!”

They strung the victim up.

“Let’s lynch!”

The drawstrings tightened, the cords strained at the neck.

“Let’s lynch!”

Hovering above the bloodthirsty crowd a tightened face began to turn purple.

“Let’s lynch!” They chanted in rapture.

The head bowed, hiding a blackened face.

notscience, Serial Killer, was Lynched Day 2

DAY 3 Somewhere in the depths of sleep, a faraway voice was softly singing, a sweet lilting melody drifting in from the darkness of slumber;

“News guy wept and told us, Earth was really dying, cried so much his face was wet, Then I knew he was not lying.”

So what? You’d probably hear David Bowie songs in your dreams if your everyday get-up was some tight-fitting androgynous military-grey tights (now missing a drawstring), complete with non-descript collarless shirt and slippers.

Yet these words, although soft, gentle and sung with a tenderness that could be likened to a woman’s voice, were also filled with an ominous message. For the dreamer the message was clear enough: time was running out. The doctor was not the first person to wake up dead, nor would the doctor be the last. And if the doctor was still amongst the living members of the hive mind, comments might have been made on the medical practicalities of someone waking up dead. However, the doctor was dead, that was that, and would soon by joined by others. That much was clear.

Out of the dreamer’s earshot, whispered voices were once more emanating from the kitchenette. It was soon followed by the faint smell of low-fat cocoa.

Desperado, Vanilla Townie, was killed Night 2 Dyslexicon, Vanilla Townie, was killed Night 2

END OF DAY 3 I do beg your pardon dear readers – of this rather fictitious game dialogue – for the breaking of the fourth wall, but I must digress. Bodies are strewn, both figuratively following my “End of Day” and “Day” announcements and literally within the confines of the game. What I mean to say is: I hope you are sitting comfortably while reading this, as with so many bodies behind us perhaps now is not the time to partake in a game of “dead fish” or even the more risqué “sleeping tigers”. There are bodies yet to come, so try not to look too corpse-like, I couldn’t bear the image.

The enslaved minds of HIVE #502 were dying (and not dying in a melodramatic yet ultimately beautiful through some deeper fragility Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman-style “she’s sleeping now” dying), no, not natural deaths at all. Not even natural diseases. Or even natural rattlesnake bites. No, these deaths were most UNNATURAL. Corpses struck down with a case of brutally-murdered-in-their-sleep.

And who was to pay for these crimes?

With corpses beginning to cram most of the already cramped living and sleeping quarters, a kitchenette with an ever-dwindling supply of low-fat cocoa and – everyone’s favourite androgynous pop singer – David Bowie’s “Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)” lyrics floating into their heads in over-analysed snippets the crazed hive mind strung up another victim by their drawstrings.

“She could’ve been a killer if she didn’t walk the way she do…”

Wait a moment, were the majority just listening to the first part of that particular lyric?

The ritualistic swaying became less enthusiastic amongst some of the dwindled hive mind. They collectively began to hear lyrics further into the song;

“Scary monsters, super creeps, Keep me running, running scared…”

RachMarie, Vanilla Townie, was lynched Day 3

DAY 4 ”Haha!” cackled one of the hench-thingies in girlish falsetto.

“We’re besting them, we’ve got them on the ropes!”

“Patience Iago-uh I mean, fellow hench-thingy.” muttered the other one. “We have a dangerous move to make yet.”

They grinned sardonic joker-like grins. The uprising had almost been quashed. The awakening of the hive minds contained. The evil spice-y empire-obsessed ruler would be pleased.

Wickedestjr, Vanilla Townie, was killed Night 3

END OF DAY 4 As fully aware as they could hope to be it was now or never for the hive minds. They staked their claims, or remained watchful of the few dazed members still living, mindful not to tread on the blackened corpses that were strewn awkwardly around the small living space of HIVE #502.

The drawstrings roughly fashioned into that dreadful noose lay resting on the bench top in the kitchenette. It wouldn't lie there for long. Already mucky and misshapen from so much use, it was once again grabbed by a majority of voices within the hive.

As the noose tightened there was only the briefest moment to utter some parting words;

“I drank all the low-fat cocoa, see you in hell…”

Elyse, Mafia Cop Switch, was lynched Day 4

ENDGAME Well here we all lay, the few poor remaining sods of HIVE #502. In our military grey night clothes, genderless haircuts, wrapped up beneath our military grey sheets, placed on small bunk cubicles packed into the sleeping quarters. Our eyes were closed, but our minds weren’t at ease. They were busy searching, thinking, pondering, reaching out and wondering. Who would be next? Who were the evil doers?

And yet there was one left. One anomaly. They could sense it, feel the very presence of this evil and possibly androgynous big brother-esque hench-thingy among them. Yet it begged the question, who was it?

The bodies scattered around in the sleeping quarters and lying a bit more motionless and lifeless in other bunk cubicles were put there by this faceless evil. The bodies in the living quarters, doing a whole lot of non-living, with ligature marks on their necks at the hands of these few poor remaining sods were a result of the search for that evil.

When would it end?

And yet there was an anomaly. In their sleep they could sense it. Their minds awake. However, this anomaly, this last evil hench-thingy was completely awake. Showing slightly shaky hands – the nerves normally calmed by low-fat cocoa, but alas the supplies had run out – they held a gun, which was normally kept well hidden and out of sight of the hive mind. They crept slowly towards one of the bunk cubicles. Upon reaching it they began to whisper a slow mantra.

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

The gun trembled, but no shot came. Over and over came the whispered babbling.

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

And then finally:

“Pop culture be damned. I’m damn near half-crazy from cocoa withdrawals. You killed them anyway and with a little pop-pop from this here gun I’ll make you pay the price. The evil spice-y empire-obsessed ruler wouldn’t have it any other way. Before more of my hench-thingy father-role models get killed, I’ll do away with you.”

With that came a silenced (of course they used silencers, these evil and possibly androgynous big brother-esque hench-thingies were total pros) bang.

Then silence (of the non-silenced bang kind).

Then ANOTHER silenced bang.

With morning came a surprise. Two surprises in fact. But the biggest of these surprises was in fact an only just mentioned third surprise. A search of the body revealed the access pass to the blast door for HIVE #502, and using their alert and highly tuned minds to wind safely through the corridors of the large complex, they found a door that led to the outside. And there was where the third surprise revealed itself: freedom.

yessirree, Town Cop, was killed Night 4 SafetyDance, Mafia Doc Switch, was killed Night 4

Ankamius, Vanilla Townie, & TheIrishPope, Town Vigilante, have survived.

Along with the day/night flavour I also snuck in a little bit amongst the VC's. By games end it was without a doubt that I'd managed to tie up everyone's extra-curricular lives for at least the next year. Well one can dream...

As far as dystopian future worlds, evil spice-y empire-obsessed rulers, androgyny or extra sensory telekinetic powers are concerned I'm happy to recommend the following:

- MOVIE: Blade Runner (1982) directed by Ridley Scott

- MUSIC: Ziggy Stardust (1972) by David Bowie

- BOOK: The Tripods (1967) written by John Christoper (young adult literature)

- BOOK: Obernewtyn Chronicles (1988) written by Isobelle Carmody (young adult literature)

- TV SERIES: Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (2004) Episode 2 “Hell Hath Fury” written by Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade

- BOOK: Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) written by George Orwell

- TV SERIES: Red Dwarf (1988) Season VI, Episode 35 “Rimmerworld” written by Grant Naylor

- MOVIE: Metropolis (1927) directed by Fritz Lang

- MOVIE: Dark City (1998) directed by Alex Proyas

- MUSIC: The Disintegration Loops (2001) by William Basinski

- MUSIC: The Disintegration Loops II (2003) by William Basinski

- MUSIC: The Disintegration Loops III (2003) by William Basinski

- MUSIC: The Disintegration Loops IV (2003) by William Basinski

- MUSIC: Hymns fortheafterlife (2006) by Jason Sloan

- BOOK: Brave New World (1932) written by Aldous Huxley

- MUSIC: Brave New World (2000) by Iron Maiden

- BOOK: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (1968) written by Philip K. Dick

- MOVIE: Poltergeist (1982) directed by Tobe Hooper

- MOVIE: RoboCop (1987) directed by Paul Verhoeven

- MOVIE: Mad Max (1979) directed by George Miller

- BOOK: Player Piano (1952) written by Kurt Vonnegut

- MUSIC: Ballade No. 1 in G minor (1831) written by Frédéric Chopin

- MOVIE: Labyrinth (1886) directed by Jim Henson

- ART: The Garden of Earthly Delights (1490-1510) by Hieronymus Bosch

- MOVIE: Scanners (1981) directed by David Cronenberg

- BOOK: The Long Walk (1979) written by Richard Bachman

- GAME: Bioshock (2007) developed by 2K Games

- GAME: Half-Life (1998) developed by Vale Corporation

- MOVIE: A Scanner Darkly (2006) directed by Richard Linklater

- MOVIE: The Running Man (1987) directed by Paul Michael Glaser

- MOVIE: 12 Monkeys (1995) directed by Terry Gilliam

- MOVIE: Battle Royale (2000) directed by Kinji Fukasaku

- MOVIE: District 9 (2009) directed by Neill Blomkamp

- MOVIE: Gattaca (1997) directed by Andrew Niccol

- MOVIE: Logan's Run (1976) directed by Michael Anderson

- BOOK: Gulliver's Travels (1726) by Jonathan Swift

- BOOK: The Time Machine (1895) by H. G. Wells

- BOOK: A Clockwork Orange (1962) by Anthony Burgess

- BOOK: Infinite Jest (1996) by David Foster Wallace

- MUSIC: Ambient 1: Music for Airports (1978) by Brian Eno

- MUSIC: Apollo: Atmospheres & Soundtracks (1983) by Brian Eno

- TV SERIES: Red Dwarf (1993) Season VI, Episode 32 “Legion” written by Grant Naylor

- MUSIC: Without You I'm Nothing (1998) by Placebo

- MUSIC: Mapping Your Dreams (2005) by Laura

- MUSIC: Radio Swan is Down (2006) by Laura

- EXPERIMENT: Zener Cards (1930s) by Karl Zener

- EXPERIMENT: The One Million Dollar Paranormal Challange (1964-) by James Randi

- BOOK: Across the Universe (2011) by Beth Revis (young adult literature)

At the end of the game I had a little fun with a couple of "player awards" and my closing comments:

Announcing the David Bowie’s bulge prize for general excellence in the field of… excellence, and fearless approach to a game rich in tyranny, androgyny and – now – close encounters of the tight-tights kind

This prize is given to the player who in some way has demonstrated themselves to be a cut above the rest when it comes to… whatever it is they were doing: the cream of the crop, crème de la crème, and crustiest upper crust. As a token of appreciation the Mod will present them with a picture, brief accolade and even briefer suspenseful announcement.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce the winner is: Ankamius

Announcing the Bear breakin’ forevermore in part 2 of the awards segment: electric boogaloo

This award is given to a player from the winning team, who not only got to shuffle their way to victory, but now gets a big bear-y boogaloo bonanza booby prize.

Give a big BOO-urns to: TheIrishPope

comments… Well folks, once again thanks a lot for playing. This was my first modded game so comments, feedback, advice, anything would be much appreciated. Sorry about all the poking and prodding that went on, I've already amended the activity rules for next time (and there will be more games, I enjoyed the modding!). I got a bit panicked and annoyed when there seemed to be serious flaking going down, but jumping up and down about it wasn't going to help and is an unwelcome distraction. I think this'll be the biggest thing to work on for me in the future, to get the balance right.

It was a new experience to see the full set-up from the start of a game and watch the chaos ensue. Needless to say it was delicious.

I thought Elyse's scum game was extremely good, not to mention entertaining. I saw the thirst to lynch Kattaze in almost each and every one of your posts, which I expected from at least one of the surviving scum since you knew that it was more than likely he was the SK right from the get go. And a naughty NK Immune one at that. Unfortunately you were just tipped out by Ankamius in my super-secret and highly scientific scoring system to determine the end of game award, who I thought gave the strongest town performance of the bunch when he was present and concentrating.

Kattaze played a pretty solid SK game, I actually think your instincts with night actions were your strongest point. In thread I saw a couple of questionable posts that perhaps should've attracted more attention from town, but you got away with it for a while. It's a pity about the extended V/LA as I don't think it did you or notscience any favours and I'd rather have seen you attempt to wriggle your way out of the increasing pressure than stick a new person into the slot. You wouldn't have been baited like he was, but on the other hand I can hardly blame the guy, I thought that was just icing on the cake.

I thought Wickedestjr replaced in and gave a good voice to town, I think Desperado, enomis and Dyslexicon did a reasonable job in this as well. But ultimately when push came to shove no one really stood out to take much initiative. I'm definitely in a similar vein as town, where I tend to take note of what players do, make cases to an extent, but struggle to find that final drive and conviction in my reads that someone like Regfan seems to have no problem with. At any rate my only parting comments for yourselves, and pretty much all of town, would be how important it is to question people on their actions, bullying them into solid answers if need be. I feel Elyse may have skirted pretty close to tunneling Kattaze in a highly suspicious way at times, while Kattaze made a couple of interesting statements of his own. Obviously it's so easy for me to see these things as they really are, but I also saw how lacking my town game was because of posts like theirs, which in turn was reflected in town players here.

TheIrishPope's play style made for a good vigilante. Your choice of targets was a little off at times, or a lot of the time :good:, but in thread you were pretty solid. I'm surprised scum didn't want to get rid of you around mid game, but on the other hand you didn't give much away at all. Also, bad luck to SafetyDance at the end there. It was quite suddenly a tough Lylo for scum to be in, and even though I feel a full claim from all of town would've made it even tougher for you two, you were still caught between a rock and a hard place. Folks already discussed those permutations a bit in the dead thread so I'll leave it at that. I'm also thankful yessirree replaced in and actually did some decent Cop things, although I shuddered a bit when the fakeclaim on Elyse came out (SafetyDance knows :wink:).

To whoever I've forgotten or left out, don't be sad, I've just run out of things to comment on, or you died early/didn't see much of you. I appreciate everyone who jumped in and played, sure you may not have won (if you're scum or SK), or won the Mod prize like Ankamius did, but at least you get to admire it with him!

the hydra

As Cheery Pie playing with Cheery Dog

Mini 1449 - Ordinary Town

Type Moderator Faction Role Entry Fate Lifespan SWA Outcome
Mini Normal qwints Town Doctor Started Killed Night 5 40 days 1/4 Town Win
After Open 480 I sent Cheery a PM seeing if he wanted some hydra action. The answer came as a "yes" and so Cheery Pie was born. The game itself was a crazy hydra heaven, we were playing with two other hydras. However, it was enjoyable exchanging posts/thoughts with Cheery through and definitely helped my style. We played off each other reasonably well, with Cheery's neutral observations offsetting my more belligerent play. Good times. May try it again some time.