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A collection of fun quotes from games, general discussion, and chat. If something is in the incorrect grouping, please let us know.


(Please tell us where to put these!)

"You know what I think that the secret to winning this game is not posting because every time I post I get accused of something!"

"Wait. Norinel's a guy? "

"I just wanted you to know you're pure, unadulterated evil"
Luna, to Antrax

"[GUIDE] - It is said that mobs take a life of their own. It is also said that to find the IQ of the mob, take the IQ of its stupidest member and divide by the number of people in the mob."
(Also Terry Pratchett in the novel, Jingo)

"I am definitely a moron."

"I don't understand, don't want to know what bunsofsteel and blackhawk have ingested in the past half hour? Every half hour? On the half hour? Every day? Without end?"

"could it be...SATAN? Uh...Nope. I think it's Quagmire."

"What does GL stand for?"
Quailman. (Date Registered: 08-31-1999, Status: Minotaur, Total Posts: 11952)

"7/24. Tee hee, you wacky Europeans, with your twenty-four day weeks."

"Jesus christ on a cracker? when did he become a condiment? if id know i could get my needed amount of JC while eating crackers i would have been all over crackers for a long time"

"Were there pirates in Feudal Japan? Well, there are now."

somehow Corsato killing MeMe is a bit hard to imagine since I assume they don't know what each other looks like.. My browser has stopped being able to copy and paste... we are on page 4 of the thread mentioned somewhere above. - Wacky.

Bloody hell, what do you do, refresh it constantly?
Not constantly. Every minute.
Dragon Phoenix

Hi. Hope you don't [v]anish.

wouls you like me to make a new thread for it?

Someone should revoke my posting privileges....

"I'm the mafia-playing MASTAH! I control it all, babeee!"

"Boring comments? That's what mafia is all about."
Big_Kahunia @ jeepfest

No headlocks at the table!
ISWife @ jeepfest breakfast run to IHOP

From Games

Sign Ups

"/in like a fat kid on cake"
bunsofsteel, military mafia signup

In Game

"youll find out after i shoot you"
mikehart, confrontation

"Call me a sucker or call me Luna, but if I'm going to get screwed this game I'd rather it'd be by mith"

"Bah. I knew sleeping with DP would turn out to be a bad idea..."
quercitron, Old West Mafia.

"I'm not convinced we're only dealing with conventional toys here...who knows what goes on PB's head?"
mathcam, Mini 44

"Besides the player called someone is not even playing in this game how is he even involved?"

jadesmar wrote- I'm a him.
jadesmar wrote- checks again
jadesmar wrote- hunts around for a microscope
(Princess Bride Mafia)

"The Italian Embassy is open for strategic planning, newbie guidance and wild parties."
Antrax, Diplomacy

"OK, everybody! From now on we're only bandwagoning bad people! To make this easier, I suggest that bad people do bad things -- starting now."
MeMe, Normal 14: "Rumours"

"10 pages. No Ideas. Sorry, Macros. I'll buy you a pint when I'm out your way."
Werebear, Harry Potter Mafia

Well, I guess that explains the "go to the bar and hit on mathcam" option DP keeps giving me every night
Captain Blicero, Famous Women Mafia

"that's why I put the word bangwagon in quotes"

"RoadBird you suck! You kill little kittens for fun! Die you evil Mafia scum, I'm attacking you! Run in fear!"
quercitron in Focused Mafia

"I think it's quite scummy for someone to try to turn our attention over to God for no apparent reason whatsoever"
Genku, Texas Mafia Returns

"he is promtly strung up and a good long look at his corpse confirms he was no peasent, the string of garlic around his neck, the frogs legs. it all adds up, hes clearly a i mean french."
macros, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Mafia

"Does anyone know if I'm ever gonna get some overnight action in C&C? I promise to shave if anyone wants to come a knockin' on my door... "
MeMe, C&C mafia

Note- For those who were curious, playing mafia involves forming rational thoughts and expressing them with, well, sentences. Let's try this in the future.
Mathcam in a Newbie game (Newbie 12)

Nope, I never had any doubt that Fritzy is the doc. Well, with Yoko either cop or scum, and MeMe either scum or not doc (given her post) and myself neither doc nor scum, then there could only be one.
Ok. So I have MeMe, who who is in a 'her or me' situation, ergo she'll never switch in a million years, and Yoko who claims to be sitting witha guilty result on me, or he's scum, so I don't think hell be jumping to my rescue, either way.
Yes, I could convince Fritzy, but what happens then? We can't lynch the remaining scum without a 3 person majority, so no-lynch it will be. Now let's look at the situation...
Fritzy is doc. There is no doubt about that, so all one of you have to do is kill fritzy, then I'll be without my supporter, and I'll get lynched, in which case the mafia will kill the remaining townie. So it is clear, unless one of you change your mind, then town will lose. Except, as per usual, I have a secret weapon in my back pocket.
So, here is our magnificent plan
1. We don't lynch today.
2. I kill MeMe tonight.
The reason I'm choosing MeMe over Yoko, is because MeMe couldn't be townie else she'd have more of an open mind about Yoko's investigation, and I'll bet Yoko's guilty result on me was because of my role, and there has to be someone as cop in the game... I think anyway. Maybe Jag took it out after putting me in.
And what have we got top lose? Assuming I'm scum, if I kill at night, then it'll have to be the doc, ergo Fritzy, and then tomorrow MeMe and Yoko will kill me, and even if I kill someone else... if someone other than MeMe dies, you'll know I was lying, and can still lynch me tomorrow.
On the other hand, if I'm what I say I am, then we guarantee victory.
Go on, Fritzy... what have we to lose.
Vote: No-Lynch

"IS, either you're mafia. or you really suck at this game. <3"
electra, chat

Alright everyone, let's just throw votes around and say nothing!
Esp. don't say "Good job doc" or "I assume that there must be multiple killing groups so either our docs got lucky or they were blocked".
And certainly don't say "How many mafia do you think would be in this game. My guess is two mafia groups of 3 each"

Hypothetical PM to the Mod: Well, I'll be off skulking around doing Masonic... stuff. Like building flying buttresses. And talking to myself. Seeing as my partner died, and all. Yeah. I'm still here, though. Plz don't replace me. Kthxbai.
petroleumjelly, Mafia 51

--Not_Mafia wrote-- You need to disabuse yourself of all preconceived notions to peer below the surface and grasp the truth of why I called you town
--Inferno390 wrote-- This. THIS is evasive. I asked you a direct question and then you give some vague, philosophical answer. EVASIVE.
--Not_Mafia wrote-- It isn't, you asked me why I thought you were town, I told you I'd already said why and I had and have, nothing evasive
--Inferno390 wrote-- Then why didn't you just answer the question again? It couldn't have been that hard.
--Not_Mafia wrote-- Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime
--Inferno390 wrote-- Will you stop with the fricking philisophical nonsnese quoting and just answer some questions? Jeez. What does it take to get a straight answer around here?
--Not_Mafia wrote-- You have all the tools, you even have the map, now you just need the humility
Micro 746

Trying to read your posts makes me want to punch a baby.
PlaysWithSquirrels, Newbie 253

Role Claims

"No, I'm the godfather of the mafia who also has a night kill and a get out of lynch free clause if a cop dies in the game. Oh, and I also have x-ray vision so I can see everyone's pm roles, I can shoot lasers from my eyes and fireballs from my ass, and everyone who votes for me will automatically die the following night."

"I'm a serial killer. I kill people at night. Yeah. I don't think I'm allowed to quote anyone while RCing, so I won't...I've ticked off some of the people. Like Bloojay...and some other randoms, but I forget. shrugs]] I didn't keep track."
Ashes, in an actual mafia game (Mini 64)

I am the Giant Pumpkin That Shoots Laser Beams Out Of Its Ass, Mark 2. I'm a one shot vig... except, I have the extra disadvantage of being guilty to investigations. My guess is that Jag decided to spice up the setup a bit, and add this role.

Before I go to bed, I think I should roleclaim. I'm a flying pig.
Patrick, Newbie 253

From GD and MD Threads

I just don't get your attitude, mister."
mathcam, on the What Have You Ingested in the Past Half Hour thread.

from some Twenty Questions game
Are you gassy?
Isn't that something that he wouldn't want to tell the public?

[quote=Moleo in stats, md]Last I checked, toilets here don't spin at all. [/quote]
Macros posted that quote... too many typos to see how its funny...

What has four legs, a tail, eats oats and hay and sees equally well from both ends?
a toaster
err... no!
im gonna say donkey
shady, i think it is a seahorse
Err, think about that for a sec. Does it eat oats and hay? In fact does it even have 4 legs? Probably the only thing that is right about that guess is that it might see equally well from both ends, but even that I'm not sure about.
im gonna say a headless horse
How's that going to eat anything?
from Riddle Me This

"mathcam don't be silly. blackhawk is living testament that you don't need a head to be alive."
From Favourite quotes from the forums

From Chat

Remember.. not all idiots are like that.
Did you mean "Not all warcraft 3 players are like that?"
It's funny either way.

"were you lurking?"

I thought I was dead...but then I thought you tried to kill me...
you're having nightmares again??
Again? I never stop
In chat, allegedly...

most women are good for nothing gold diggers anyway
was it the truck driver?
that you were talking about yesterday?
except for Tally
and . . .oh my ID
whew nice save ID.. i nearly had to slap ya

What didn't Sugar do to Fletcher? That's what I wanna know.
Ewwwww....Sugar is Fletcher's aunt.

[16:34] ANyone naked?
[16:34] only you
[16:34] Its very liberating

babies are tasty
i like my babies WARM
i eat babies...i sware
because i eat babies
i love babies. babies are real good on toast