You thought it would be a wonderful weekend getaway with some heavy drinking in the woods and unmitigated teenage sexual escapades. Your uncle's cabin seemed like the perfect retreat from the hustle and bustle of college life. It's was a little inconvenient at first when you found that your cell phones didn't work, but no matter. You were still determined to have fun.
Then the killings began, each one more gruesome than the last. You find the mutilated body of one of your buddies in the woods. The details are too horrific to even imagine. (Of course, the horror is more intense when it happens off screen.)
Slaine Hayes has requested replacement. Jahudo replaces him.
|D1 Final Vote Count|
|Prof. Guppy||5||Vi, Ramus, Pesco47, Prof. Guppy, OhGodMyLife|
|not voting||3||Query, Rhinox, Jahudo|
After a day frolicking in the woods and skinny dipping at Lake Murder, you all settle in for some Spin the Bottle and heavy drinking. After all, can you think of a better way to get a bottle?
The worst part is when you have to kiss the sullen guy. I mean, he’s just kind of a jerk and he doesn’t kiss back. And he won’t even lift up his hockey mask. You hadn’t really planned to kill him. It was merely self-defense.
Prof. Guppy, Mafia Goon, Lynched Day 1.
Man, what a hangover. Your head hurts and you feel a bit dizzy. You don't think you'd even get out of bed if you didn't need to piss. No bathrooms out here in the woods, so you have to go outside.
This hangover keeps getting worse. You're hallucinating now. You think you see the mutilated body of one of your friends. Oh, wait. That's real. What a bummer. He was the one who was supposed to be bringing the drugs.
Query, Doctor, Killed Night 1
chickenzz replaces Pesco47, effective immediately.
Cass replaces chickenzz, effective immediately.
|D2 Final Vote Count|
|Ramus||4||Vi, Cass, Rhinox, Jahudo|
And now you’re in full-blown panic mode. Running around. Screaming. You know the drill. This is around the time when the writer invents some plot device that explains why your cell phones don’t work in the woods, even if the premise was established in the beginning, which it was.
Also, you don’t even think to ask what gangsters are doing in a slasher film. It’s best not to think about it too much. Just go ahead and find someone to kill. That’s the spirit!
Ramus, Townie, Lynched Day 2
Last night's death was the most gruesome of all. It's even too horrible for me to describe, but it seems the sort of thing that would be concocted by German Nihilists. Suffice it to say that it involved a weasel and a bathtub.
The rest of you can hear the screams from across the lake. If you had thought about it, you'd keep track of who sneaked off when the murders were occurring. But you were too busy running around. Screaming. Etc.
Jahudo, Townie, Killed Night 2.
|D3 Final Vote Count|
|OhGodMyLife||3||soulmonarch, Rhinox, Vi|
There was a moment of calm in the waves of panic. People sat around thoughtfully and wondered, "Who would do this? Why would they be here out in the woods?" Suddenly, the camp counselor who had been real quiet up until this point, got a whole lot of fingers pointed at him.
"After all," one of them said, "the other camp counselor was also a gangster." No one even noticed that the isolated summer cabin was retconned into a summer camp. And still no one could explain the gangsters.
It might advance an unfair stereotype of camp counselors, but without profiling, how are you going to catch the gangsters, right? Maybe not.
OhGodMyLife, Townie, Lynched Day 3
The last death was not dramatic. No chainsaws, no hockey masks, no screaming in the night. Just a result of good old-fashioned muscle and gumption. Plus cement shoes to drag the body to the bottom of the lake. You really have no idea how you know the body is at the bottom of the lake, but the narrator says it's true.
With just three of you left, you realize that one of you must be the killer. The worst part about it is that you've run out of alcohol. Now, you realize that none of this was a bad dream. And you can't even drink to forget.
Cass, Townie, Killed Night 3
|D4 Final Vote Count|
When you’re scared that your life may be in danger, how does a rational person react? Most panic and some step up to the challenge. But others just sit around the campfire and talk, and argue, and monologue for a long time.
This summer cabin was not fun any more. Scattered bodies with blood everywhere. The atmosphere was somber. Even the lake seemed colder. But the campers made a tough choice, and killed one of their own. At least there’ll be two survivors, they thought. At least that’s better than everyone dying, right?
So the two survivors stood side by side and looked at what they wrought. Silently and slowly, one of them reached for his gun.
Make that one survivor.
soulmonarch, Townie, Lynched Day 4.
Vi, Townie, Killed in Endgame.
Rhinox, Mafia Goon, wins!