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Mysterious Mystery Man

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Once upon a time, there was an internet user who went by the name of cheater_1. This user first became known for cheating at online chess, using more and more advanced techniques. When he retired, he told his story to others. The result was ASTOUNDING. People HATED this arrogant and shadowy figure who made them all look like fools. He became a professional troll, paid to come to various sites throughout the internet and STIR up some action.

But all this left it's toll on cheater_1. He became a recluse. Forums began to ban him on sight the moment he joined up. So he started experimenting with other usernames, other personalities. He tested himself and his acting abilities. Eventually, the man with a thousand faces stumbled upon, a site that played mafia: a game of psychology, a game of risks, a game where cheating was next to impossible without being CAUGHT. cheater_1 was hooked. It was the perfect way to keep up his debating skills and have some fun at the same time. He took the name Mysterious Mystery Man, and despite a slip or two, remained undetected. He quickly lodged himself into the social network, joining several mafia games, and participating in even more mindless Mish Mash games.

Sadly, it was not to last. MMM joined a mafia game into which an account named Confucius replaced. Confucius voted for MMM in his very first post, and spent the rest of the day rehashing old arguments. You see, MMM made a mistake, and insulted a replacement. LOL's all around. But Confucius saw this as a scumtell. MMM explained his case again and again, only to have Confucius ignore his arguments, and the rest of the game as well. Confucius later DEMANDED that MMM should edit his wiki. MMM said nasty things in his wiki. The exact words used to describe Confucius were 'illogical' and 'poor play'. Apparently, this was talking about an on-going game, even though MMM had NOT said anything related to the game. He merely expressed his opinions about a certain player. Wishing to avoid hassle, MMM changed the wiki, and tried to get on with the game. Wasn't happening. Confucius continued to DISPARAGE MMM to the point where MMM did the unforgivable. He! called! Confucius! a! TROLL!!!



Confucius decided he had enough of MMM and started attacking another player. The game went on, MMM and Confucius ignoring each other. Finally, the game entered lylo. There were six player left, Confucius, who was a confirmed vig, MMM,, Pie, HF, and farside. Two scum left. MMM took a risk and attacked farside. The wagon grew to include HF and Confucius. Pie was hesitating, and asked to be replaced. The game slowed to a crawl. Pie had said he would hammer at deadline, so the only thing to do was wait for him, or a replacement. Suddenly, close to deadline, Confucius switched his vote over to Pie. With a no-lynch if there was no majority, MMM and HF had no choice but to switch to Pie as well. Whereas farside promptly hammered. Pie turned up town.

The game wasn't over yet. Confucius had the opportunity of hitting scum on his vig kill. But he chose to kill MMM, and town lost. and farside were the scum. When asked why he had killed MMM instead of the player everyone else thought was scummy, Confucius revealed himself to be PETROLEUMJELLY. In the ending conversation, PJ admitted to two things: first, that he had created the account Confucius to try new styles of play, which included pointless tunneling. Secondly, PJ admitted that it was his hatred of MMM that determined the vig kill. MMM plowed into him. He pointed out how he had lost the game: if farside had been lynched, then would have been lynched the next day. That's irrefutable. MMM was disgusted with PJ. He had purposefully been a TROLL for the sole reason to build up his account's meta. He had let his personal feelings get in the way of the game, and lost it. His vote change and vig kill were based solely on EGO, about getting the LAST WORD. Pathetic.

One day, MMM woke up to discover his account was banned by mith. You see, PJ is a regular member of the site, a friend of mith, and apparently whined about MMM until he got his way, and the only person who could challenge his precious ego was gone. He could sleep safe at night, knowing his online reputation was under no threat. Officially, the story is:

"Mysterious Mystery Man is banned indefinitely - abusive in-game posting, multiple violations of the "don't discuss ongoing games" rule, and probably alt of a banned user. The ban may be reduced to a probation of some sort if the latter can be cleared up to my satisfaction."

I'm guessing PJ made a few generous donations to the site.

The 'abusive in-game posting' bit is a LIE. I kept a civil tongue at all times. Was I nasty? Yes. Abusive? NO. Look over the game for yourself. I never got personal until Confucius got personal. I kept away from foul language, even though it was RAMPANT on the site. As for 'multiple violations of the "don't discuss ongoing games" rule', that also is a LIE. If the infractions were several, how come I NEVER received a warning of any kind? I would NEVER reveal important information, or even discuss anything involved with the game. WHERE IS THE PROOF? SHOW ME A LINK TO THE POSTS!

Too lazy, mith? Thought so.

The 'alt' bit just killed me, though. I am NOT an alt, and haven't seen one SHRED of evidence to say I am. I also got an e-mail from mith, which basically said "say who your alt account is, and you can come back". NEVER! I will NOT lie and lick your feet so I can return for more SLANDER and ABUSE! I am GONE!

I updated this so those who care can come and see the TRUTH for themselves. I've been banned before, but this is the first time where I am INNOCENT of the charges. I promise you this: no matter what, I will NOT return to, as mith is a TYRANT, and I've unveiled his TRUE COLORS.

I'll leave my wiki as it was, like a shrine to my honor.


About Me

I am an enigma. I have a thousand masks, and one true face. petroleumjelly called me "a wretched person", and he was perfectly accurate. I am anti-social, nearly psychopathic. I attract the scum of the internet, trolls, flamers, they all flock to me. I expose them for the fools they are. I have the unique talent to turn anyone into a gibbering moron. I play mafia so I can practice my debating skills and psychology. I take pride in my Mish Mash exploits as well. If I don't play those games, I'll simply become a machine.


Since Mysterious Mystery Man is hard to type, I've put a list of nicknames you can feel free to use:

  • Mystery Dude
  • Triple M
  • MMM
  • Mysti - NOT Mysty, that just looks weird.
  • Handsome Sex God
  • Narcissistic Weirdo
  • Bill

Quotes of Shameless Vanity

"If I voted to kill you, sorry. Unless you deserved it, in which case you should shut up and die."

"HEY GUYS, I'M SCUM! Oh. Uh, I mean..."

"Check out OG's first three posts, the guy's got to be either scum or ADHD."

"DING DING! You just set off my super scuminator device. (It also goes WHOOP WHOOP!)"

"Lastly, because I KNOW you lot will harp on this: Yes, I've CHANGED my syntax. I didn't WANT to start typing like I had a MALFUNCTIONING caps lock key. I tried to get by talking like a NORMAL person. But you just don't get it. I have been wrongly accused more often than ANY other player here. I'm sure my new ATTITUDE will get a few OMGUS votes. In the long run, I think COMPREHENSION is more important. In this game it is important one makes FACTS stand out. But then, since when have you cared about the FACTS? When I find myself drowning in a sea of LIES, I will make myself more VISIBLE until I am understood. Call it my SIGNATURE style."

"It's easier and nicer to believe that the people who appear to know what they're talking about are on our side."

"Okay, I'm beginning to think I just like to hear myself talk."

"Getting ready for nighttime in the meantime... got my pajamas on... brushing my teeth... *YAWN*..."

"MAB hasn't posted much, but he's made long, thoughtful posts. At the risk of this sounding like a double entendre, size DOES matter."

"Ah... Nothing like waking up in the morning and finding yourself at L3. How refreshing."

"Okay, this set-up doesn't have a jester, but otherwise I'd swear that's your role."


"Can we somehow combine mafia with girls in bikinis?"

"See, what we have here is a conflict of EGO. Mine is HUGE. STAGGERINGLY huge. And I'm not shy about it."

Mysti's Mafia Guide

I'm still learning the nuances of this game, and hopefully this section will be helpful to all those like me who learn the unwritten rules the hard way. Basically, it's a chronicle of all the mistakes I've made, and all the things I've done that worked out rather well.

RULE #1: DON'T BE UNIQUE. See, most of the people on this site have their own little quirks. It helps tell them apart. But it's a good idea not to get any quirks of your own until you're a biggie on this site. I started my own little QUIRK in a game, and people flipped out. Never mind that other players were swearing like sailors, or posting in annoying single sentence paragraphs constantly. See, they are regular players. They're all buddy-buddy with each other. You don't get to stand out until you earn it, apparently. I did absolutely nothing that could be interpreted as a scumtell, and yet I was nearly lynched. OMGUS in the extreme. Fair? No. BUT YOU WILL BE LYNCHED FOR YOUR POSTING STYLE UNLESS YOU ARE A REGULAR MEMBER OF THE SITE!

RULE #2: DON'T SCREW UP THE RVS. It's a pathetic ritual that serves nothing, but any critique will get you bandwagoned. The only thing RVS accomplishes is determining who is bad at it. This person is then declared scum. Stupid. But you have to go along with it. Vote for someone and make up a lame joke about it. It's the town way.

My Games

Joined Harry Potter Mafia - BANNED!

Joined Purgatory - BANNED!

Joined Bastard Mass Effect - annnnnnnnnnnd... died N1.

Joined Mind Screw Mafia 4 - Town aligned day roleblocker/vig. I was first to die. Not sure how. I think I was modkilled, but I didn't break any rules. The game sucked anyway, only discussion was whether or not to lynch the mod's alt, and with no information either way, the debate became a nightmare of WIFOM. It didn't help that there were spammers and people trying to fake abilities.

Joined Open 212 (Hard Boiled Mafia) - Finally over. I was a townie. The entire game crawled at a snail's pace while being plagued by replacement after replacement. Town had almost no chance, but if the other players had just LISTENED to me, and used their heads, we would've won. Instead, I got vigged by a troll. Unbelievable.

Joined Open 209 (5P Vengeful Mafia) - Vengeful Townie, lasted to D2, and got caught choosing between a crossvote with only 4 pages of discussion. I made the wrong call, voted for the player who L1'd the original lynchee.

Joined Newbie 917 - Townie, Lynched Day one. Town loss. Not much more to say, other than congrats to Mustilicor.

Joined Newbie 916 - Scum, sweet victory! This game earned me a nomination for best newbie performance.

Joined Newbie 885 - Cop, mafia win due to my screw-up. No, perhaps screw-up is the wrong word, but it was my fault. I was outsmarted. That doesn't happen very often. Well done, startransmission, well done. This game holds the DISTINCTION of being the first time I revealed myself. Luckily, my fame hasn't spread to this corner of the internet, but it can't be long before someone puts two and two together.

Joined Newbie 875 - Townie, was lynched when I logged off and went to bed. Seems kind of unsportsmanlike... Anyway, the game was pretty much RUINED anyway by a single moron.



If you've managed to find your way to my little WIKI, then PLEASE, say something! Everything below here I give permission to edit. If you have the GUTS, that is. TROLLS BEWARE, I will expose you for the MORONS that you are! Don't believe me? GO AHEAD! TEST MY PATIENCE!!!

Test, 1, 2 .....

Love, Nobody Special

Nobody Special? I beg to DIFFER! YOU, sir, hold quite the HONOR! You, my friend are FIRST to step into the lion's den. BRAVO!!!